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THE VISIT

The Patron-Exclusive Abridged Script

FADE IN:

INT. FOUND FOOTAGE MOVIE

KATHRYN HAHN is giving an interview to her daughter, OLIVIA DEJONGE because this is a found footage movie because fucking Christ this genre won't die.

M. NIGHT SHAYAMLAN

But it's my "comeback" movie! When you set the bar to "not quite an absolute disaster" people will say you made a good movie!

KATHRYN HAHN

I'm a bitter mother who doesn't speak to her parents. My children, Olivia DeJonge and Ed Oxenbould, want to go spend a week with them anyway. Fuck you children.

OLIVIA DEJONGE

I shoot most of these scenes because I am making a documentary to reunite my mother with her parents. And also because it's easier to pull off shitty direction if it's disguised as a fifteen year old's amateur work. So mom, tell me why you don't talk to your parents?

KATHRYN HAHN

I can’t do that honey. About an hour of this movie is everything you’ve already seen in the trailer, so not knowing what went wrong in my past is supposed to help create suspense. It doesn't, but it's supposed to.

ED OXENBOULD

(raps embarrassingly)

I'm gonna rap way too many times

My bitchy sis is too serious for my rhymes...

OLIVIA DEJONGE

So... you die pretty quickly, right?

He doesn't.

OLIVIA and ED meet their "grandparents" DEANNA DUNAGEN and PETER MCROBBIE at a small rural town where it is significant to know that it's small. And rural.

DEANN DUNAGEN AND PETER MCROBBIE

We both speak in clipped monotony accented with a touch of sinister.

DEANNA DUNAGEN

And I mention food a lot.

OLIVIA DEJONGE

And I am just so happy to spend a week with you complete strangers-

ED OXENBOULD

(raps poorly)

We bought a ticket to the best show around

Old people shitting in this nowhere town!

What if they dead or if this is a dream?

Leave it to Shyamalan to add a twist to this scene!

OLIVIA DEJONGE

SO you can kill him maybe? I mean...

Ah ah ah, you didn't say the magic word

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